Poetry

THE YEAR I LIVED

Gray days
And Saturdays
Routine Mondays that crawl
Into Fridays
Stay-in-bed Sundays
Those were the days
Before the year I lived.

That year
I saw you sitting on a bench
Staring at a painting
You know you couldn’t afford
Sunlight brightening the whole place
Highlighting your pondering face
That was the moment
I knew I’d live.

Calm days
And Saturdays
Mondays that you wish would immediately turn
Into Fridays
With sprinkles of hands holding,
Mouths touching,
Silence speaking
Tangled-in-sheets Sundays
Those were the days
Of the year I lived.

That year
I tried things I never knew I could
I ate melted ice cream
I ran in the rain
I traveled unplanned
I climbed mountains
I donned bright orange hair
I walked slowly
I savored my steps
I looked up
I felt the breeze
Everything was new
My senses were heightened
And everything reminded me of you
And those were moments
I know I lived.

But now you’re gone
Why do you have to leave so soon?
Now I’m back
To the same old gray days
Staring-at-the-ceiling Saturdays
Mondays that crawl endlessly into eternity
Wanting-to-stay-in-bed Sundays
But rest, calm, and sleep
Forever elude me
And I will forever long
For that year I lived.

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Poetry

THEN CAME YOU

Jaded
I have always been unlucky
That I got used to my fate
Mishaps don’t surprise me anymore.
Then came you
To make me realize
That fate just can’t be accepted
And we have the capacity to change it.

Angry
I was forever mad about things all around
That I spend energy and time
With complaints and rants and how I hate my life.
Then came you
To make me realize
That there is so much beauty and kindness
That I just have to look on the other side.

Regressive
I was always stuck in the past
That I never wanted
To try things new.
Then came you
To make me realize
That opening your soul
To new things is good, too.

Emotional
I feel a lot yet I hide
So that only few
Would feel welcome inside.
Then came you
To make me realize
That I can remove my mask
That it’s ok to not filter my thoughts.

Defiant
I hate losing arguments
I will fight
And die fighting.
Then came you
And made me realize
Losing is essential sometimes
That it’s not always who had the last word.

Then came you
You showed things that calm me.
Then came you
You made me realize I am still all these.
But then there’s you
Who would always make me want to be otherwise.

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Poetry

LOST

Been in this bed
The whole day now
The scent of yesterday
Still on my skin
My mind wandering
To places it hasn’t been.

Just lying here
Going in and out of dream land
Thinking of heartaches
And heartbreaks
That love gives
To those brave enough to seek it.

Been staring
At the four corners of the room
From daylight to darkness
And the passing time
Fading like memories
That you and I used to have.

Just floating here
My eyes blinking in the dark
Conjuring images
From shadows and the play of light
Wishing to see
A glimmer of hope for us.

Been lost
Since the time I left you
Been found
But I break your heart again
And for your sake please stop
Because I know I could never give your heart back.

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Poetry

LOVE IS MESSY

Love is messy.
It never leaves you
Squeaky clean.
It always leaves you stained,
Marked.
It always leaves a trace behind.

Love is frustrating.
It leaves your mind drained.
It lingers like an
Unanswered math problem.
It is laced with regret
For not being solved sooner.

Love is tiring.
It leaves your body exhausted.
It drags your feet
At the end of a work day.
It makes you choose the comfort
Of your bed
Above everything else.

Love is never easy.
It leaves you giving up.
It makes you cry,
It makes you mad.
It pulls on your hair
And leaves a heaviness in your heart.

Loves is messy.
Love leaves you frustrated.
Love leaves you tired.
Love is never easy.
But despite all these
You still choose love.
Because to feel all these
Is the only way to feel alive.

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Poetry

CHAOS

When I look at you,
Your eyes,
Your hands,
Your mouth,
I want to get inside of you.
Your head,
Your thoughts,
Your memories.

I want to know
Why you look so far away,
And suddenly look down
And shake your head.

I want to know
Why you almost gesture,
Then suddenly
Keep your hands to yourself.

I want to know
Why you smile ear to ear,
Then suddenly it saddens
And fades.

I want to be
Inside of you
While all of these
Pull you
In a million thoughts.

I want to be
Inside of you
While you fleet
Through memories
Of past and future years.

I want to be
Inside of you
To calm your storm,
To end the chaos,
The chaos I know
I’ve caused.

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Poetry, Tagalog Poetry

DESPERADO

Desperado.
Yan ang naramdaman ko
Nitong umaga paggising
At sumagi sa isip
Lahat ng tinuran
Nang huli kang kapiling.

Desperado.
Nang sabihin kong mahal kita
Kahit alam kong di patas
Kahit alam kong di masusuklian
Kahit alam kong ako lang ang may nararamdaman.

Desperado.
Nang sabihin kong
Wala na akong pakialam
Di man tayo pareho ng dahilan.
Nang sabihin kong kailangan ko to.
Kailangan kita
Kailangan ko ang oras na kasama mo.

Desperado.
Nang sinabi kong ‘wag ka na mawala ulit
At wala akong nakuhang sagot
Kundi pagluwag ng akap
At malungkot na ngiti.

Desperado.
Nang sinabi kong tatanggapin ko ang kahit ano
Hangga’t may ibibigay ka.
Kahit ano
Basta galing sa yo.
Kahit ano
Na makakapagparamdam na meron pa rin akong parte sa buhay mo.

Desperado.
Pero pagod na ko.
Pagod na ko magpakatanga para sayo.
Pagod na ko na magsambit muli ng pagsisisihan ko.

Desperado.
Pero panahon na para unahin ko naman ang sarili ko.
Para bumitaw sa kung ano man ang meron tayo
At huminto sa paghintay ng limos galing sa puso mo.

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Poetry, Tagalog Poetry

UNOS

Di ko naman kinakaila
Aminado naman ako
Na mahal kita dati
Mahal kita kahit di ko alam
Asan ka na.
Mahal kita kahit di ko alam
Kung masaya ka na.
Mahal kita kahit di ko alam
Kung minahal mo din ako.

At mahal kita ngayon
Kahit na biglaan lang ang muling paglitaw mo
Bigla
Parang unos
Natangay ako.
At mahal kita ngayon
Kahit ang gulu-gulo
Ng damdamin at isipan ko.
At mahal kita ngayon
Kahit iniisip ko kung tama ba na mahalin pa kita
O mastama na kalimutan ka.

Masmahirap kasi masmahal kita bukas
Kasi alam ko na anong pakiramdam sa tabi mo.
Masmahirap kasi masmahal kita bukas
Kasi alam ko na ano pala ang kulang sa ‘kin sa nakaraan.
Masmahirap kasi masmahal kita bukas
Kahit alam kong masasaktan lang ako
Kahit alam kong umaasa lang ako
Kahit alam kong talo ako.

Masmahirap kasi sa kabila ng lahat
Ikaw lang ang minahal ko.
Ang mamahalin ko.
Ang mahal ko.

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